I know this sounds quite trivial to some of you, but for me it is more terrifying than being in the dark. (Yes, I am still afraid of the dark.) I put a lot of value into family approval of relationships, which is probably why meeting the family makes me so nervous. If they don't like me, I'm done.
I dated a guy for a while and let's just say our families didn't exactly approve of the relationship. We were young and thought we were Romeo and Juliet, so we made the relationship last longer than it should have, without our parents acceptance. I can remember going to his house and feeling like an outcast. Walking into that house felt like walking onto a battlefield, no one acknowledged me or even tried to get to know me. It was a miserable experience that made me vow to never again date someone without family approval.
Needless to say, meeting my new bf's family was terrifying for me. What if they didn't like me? If they didn't approve my fairy tale would go down the drain. Prince Charming and the Parents Who Hate Me, wouldn't exactly make for a story book romance. So of course, when the big day came, I stressed for hours over what to wear, what to say, what not to say. I went over and over in my head what I thought they would be like. For a moment, a thought came into my head that maybe I should tone down the make-up and amount of jewelry, to avoid coming across as high maintenance. I quickly realized it was a better idea to be myself 100%, they would either love me or hate me, but honestly was the best policy. So true to form, I wore an outfit with sparkles.
On the way there, trying to hide my shaky hands was like trying to hide an elephant in church, not happening. Awful flashbacks of being around a family who hated me crossed my mind. I was not going to let that happen again, and I needed these people to like me, because I really like their son/brother/cousin etc.
The first meeting went well. Everyone spoke and made an effort to get to know me. I jumped inside every time someone asked me a question.
After spending more time, I have realized that my amazing boyfriend comes from an amazing family. I love everyone in his family and feel so welcomed around them. I knew he had to have an awesome family because he turned out so well. I am so relieved to say that his family makes me feel at ease, I want to spend time with them.
One of the greatest joys of being able to spend time with his family is watching him interact with his family. He is a great son, a great brother, a great cousin and a great nephew. I saw that the same kindness he shows to me is definitely not an act. I realized that he is 100% of the time a great guy. He might have the sweetest mom in the world, and I really just want to applaud her because she raised an amazing son.
My mom used to tell me that when the relationship is right, you will love their family. Having a family dislike me wasn't normal. Again, my mother was right. Falling for his family was simply another piece in the puzzle that fell right into place. An amazing guy with a more than amazing family, someone please pinch me.
Six months ago if you had told me I would be happily in a relationship making all of you want to puke with my lovey dovey writing, I would have laughed in your face. I didn't expect this to happen, but I am so glad that it has. I am excited about the future, and I promise to keep you informed every step of the way.
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