Monday, August 23, 2010

If you love me, you'll lie to me.

The other night, my roomie and I decided to watch a movie. We decided on watching, He's Just Not That Into you, and I hadn't seen it in awhile, so I was excited! I also realized, I hadn't seen it since I was in a relationship, this could be interesting. I remember watching it as a single girl and feeling bitter. I only remember being reminded that I was "that girl."

After watching it again, I'm not really sure what I did that was "right" to attract the right guy! I also realized that I have many friends who say they are looking for Mr. Right, but their actions completely disagree with them. In the movie, all the friends continue to lie to each other, simply encouraging insane behavior. Why do we lie to each other? Because it makes us feel better! But it's insane! We lie to our friends and tell them what they want to hear rather than what they NEED to hear, the truth!

Since I have become the girl in a serious relationship, (again, not sure how I managed to do that!), friends have started coming to me for guy advice, assuming that since I have a Mr. Right, I must have some answers. Well, I like to think I am OK with advice, so I have been trying my best! I give different advice than other friends though, and I don't know how well it goes over with the people I'm giving it to. I give them the truth. The cold, hard, honest truth.

Let's look at this scenario. A friend of mine went out, met a cute guy, had one too many drinks and went home with home. Whoops. Of course, he said all the right things, acted interested in seeing her again, and even took her to class the next morning. Well, she was beaming as she told me how wonderful he was. Honestly, I couldn't help from laughing and shaking her to death. I learned something a long time ago: upon a first impression, guy will place you into one of two categories, girls they sleep with, and girls they take home to Mom. Once you are categorized, you don't really switch teams, your branded for life. Of course I wasn't surprised when she didn't hear from him the next day. I also wasn't surprised when she did hear from him a few days later. He said all the right things like, "I knew you were busy this weekend, so I didn't want to bother you by texting you." What a prince charming. Truth is, he didn't think about you all weekend and probably shacked up with another drunk girl. And of course, the playboy asked if she wanted to, "come over and watch a movie, or something." OK let's stop. Here's the kicker... OR SOMETHING. Girls tend to overlook this as they dance around their room because he wants to hang out. He doesn't want to hang out with you. He wants you to come over, start a movie and then end up in his bedroom. So of course, I said OK, redeem yourself, do not spend the night with him. Would any one be surprised if I told you she didn't stay at her own place that night? She's also convinced that they have something and he genuinely likes her for who she is, because he told her so.

Here is my new pet peeve, girls who go on and on about how they want to find Mr. Right, they want to be in a serious relationship with a good guy, but their actions tell a completely different story. They call me and wonder why they can't be in a relationship too. Well, I'll tell you. I decided I wanted to be serious. Going out was no longer a priority. I spent my time doing things that would help my career and just help me in general. I got involved in things that interested me. I met a boy at a conservative conference, we began talking and getting to know each other. We talked for weeks before our actual first date. We figured out that we liked the same things, had the same morals, and truly enjoyed talking to each other, and thus, a relationship was born.

If you are telling me you want to be serious, get serious. Stop going out, drinking like a Freshman and going home with guys. Guys won't take you seriously until you take yourself seriously. The right guy will come, but only when you're ready. To put it simply, nice guys want to date nice girls. The end.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Service without a smile

As a senior (ish), I'm starting to pay more attention to how people act at work. Whenever I go somewhere I'm constantly watching how people do things, simple and not so simple. Well, often times I get really irritated. It's the same rant we have all heard a million times, it's a bad economy, someone else would do your job better! Well, most of the time I don't get too irritated, but since I am in the PR world, I ALWAYS focus on how people treat others on the job. How you answer the phone is so much more important than people realize.

Since I am moving into a new apartment, I needed a new TV. After searching all the stores here, none of them had my desired one in stock. Well, I could have had it delivered to my apartment, but there's this thing called sorority recruitment (aka: hell week for girls) that wouldn't allow me to actually be home while the sun was shining. So, I opted for Walmart's really helpful site-to-store. You buy it online, they send it to the store and ta-da! Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. My TV was to have been delivered last week/weekend, and I have yet to see it.

I ventured down to Wally World on Saturday, not to mention I am sick as a dog, hoping to pick up my TV. This lady was very nice, even thought I could tell she didn't want to search for my TV, she did. Devastated I returned home with no TV. So, the next day was the last day it was "guaranteed" to be in by, surely it will come, right? HA!

So instead of driving the 15 minutes to Wally World just to be told they don't have my TV, I decided to call. Well, after being hung up on three times, I finally got a human being on the phone. I told the gentlemen what I was looking for and he proceeded to ask me if I had the tracking number, I replied no but gave him my name. He then puts me on "hold" but instead of actually pressing the hold button, he simply put the phone on the counter where I could heard every word in his little rant about how annoying it is when people call and ask him to do things. Right, it must stink working in retail and having people ask you to do things, hmm. (Note: it takes half a second to push a button and actually put someone on hold, it's so rude to allow someone to hear your awful conversation.) He then picks up the phone and says, "I'm gonna have to go into the system and look this up, it might take a few minutes..." Well, yes, I did call with the intention that you would look up my order and I knew it might take a few minutes... he then says, "I mean, like, it could take five minutes, I guess you could hold on-- or why don't you just call me back later." Umm, I'm sorry, but I just need to know if my TV is there or not before I drive 15 minutes to your store. At this point I was so blown away by his laziness and lack of work ethic that I really didn't want to be on the phone with him anymore. So after this I said fine, I will go into my mom's e-mail account, find the tracking number and track it myself.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people act so annoyed that you have asked them to do their job. I believe this young man was being paid to work in the department I needed help from. I don't think I was asking him to do something outrageous either. Here's a helpful hint. If someone "bothers" you at work, and you really don't want to do what they have asked, there are better ways of getting out of it. For example:

"I'm so sorry Mr./Ms. so-and-so, we are really backed up right now and my hands seem to be tied, if you could give me your name and number I would be happy to get back with you as soon as possible"

I mean, you should never avoid doing your job, but if you must, be nice about it, please?

I'm sorry for the rant, but bad customer service is my ultimate pet peeve!

Friday, July 23, 2010

It has begun.

For months now, I have been doing a "long distance relationship," but not really. While at the beginning of summer, I thought I would never see my Prince Charming, but in fact we have managed to see each other almost once a week. Wow, I drove to SC entirely too much this summer, (but totally worth it!) So while we have had the joy of starting our relationship actually spending time together, I now realize summer is almost over and I won't be able to drive back and forth as I please, and neither will he. Sigh.

I cannot believe it is almost August, where did summer go?! In just a week I will be moving into a new apartment, most likely the last place I will live in Auburn. Talk about a reality check. After that, the chaos will begin. A week and a half of sorority recruitment, my last one ever, and I will officially start my senior year of college. OK, senior-ish year, so I'm doing an extra semester, I get an extra football season!

Needless to say, the upcoming fall is bittersweet. I will want to treasure every moment with my friends, doing the things I have taken for granted over the past four years. The most difficult part will be knowing that my best friend is 8 hours away. He will go back to school (prison) right after I do, and after that, who knows when we will be able to see each other. He will be busy playing toy soldier, and I'll be experience my senior year of college, two lives that don't exactly overlap.

I guess you can say that this reality has finally hit me. I realize that it will be a true LDR, more time spent apart than together. And my ever so logical father has already informed me that, "You can't be driving up every weekend to go see soldier boy." Yes, Dad, I realize. While it will be tempting to hop in my car and go visit, since he can't exactly come and go as he pleases, but I have to accept that's not logical.

I knew when I met him, my life is in Alabama, his is in South Carolina. So yesterday while I was bored and feeling a little sad over my recent revelation, I decided to Google, I was sure someone had some great LDR advice, or stories that would comfort me. Well, while I did find some helpful hints (but nothing I didn't really already know, use Skype, talk a lot, etc.) there was also really crummy advice!

1. Have a "movie date." Pick out the same movie, pop some popcorn, curl up on the couch, get on Skype and 1-2-3- PLAY! Ta-da, you're watching a movie together. Orrrr, you're feeling like an idiot.

2. Daily Report Cards. (Note: this would be a good idea if you were in separate countries and phone use was limited.) At the end of the day, type up a synopsis of what you did. Include as many pictures, videos, etc. of your day! Yeah, I pretty much do this on the phone already, minus the pic messages.

3. Spend 1-2 with no communication. Take a few days and completely cut off all communication with each other, no phone calls, texts, e-mails, nothing. Doing this will make you miss each other and remind you why your in it. Um, every time I hear my sweet toy soldier on the phone, I am reminding why I'm doing this, I'd rather not ignore each other, but thanks anyway!

So since my search left me with nothing, I came to this conclusion. Jump in head first. Just figure it out as you go along. I may be biased, but we have a great relationship, we will be able to figure this LDR out. I didn't say it was going to be easy, but I know it will definitely be worth it.

My senior year is supposed to be the best, and I'm going to make sure it is. I want to enjoy every piece of Auburn before I leave and return home to my beloved SC.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

21 going on 12

In high school, I did some baby-sitting just like most girls do. I remember one particular horror story that I will never forget. I was at the beach and a family friend asked me to watch her children at the pool for a few hours. No problem. Well, it was a 9 year-old-girl, a 7 year-old-boy and a 2 year-old-girl. Sounds like a handful, right? Well, to make it even better, the 2 year old (who obviously can't swim) didn't have any floaties with her, so I literally had to hold her the entire time. She was absolutely convinced that she could swim and she didn't WANT me to hold her. She kicked, screamed, hit, yelled, anything she could do to get me to let her swim. Well, as the person in charge, I knew if I put her down, she would drown. Needless to say, it was a very long afternoon. She thought I was being mean by not letting her swim on her own, but I was simply protecting her! That was my job, to watch the children, make sure they didn't drown!

Lately I've been realizing that we never grow out of that. A 2 year old thinks they can swim, a 16 year old thinks they rule the world, and a 21 year old thinks they are an adult. I have two brothers and we are all at different and interesting ages. My older bro is 22 and my younger bro is 17, leaving me in the middle at 21. Even though my oldest bro is only a year and a half older than me, I always thought he was sooo cool and mature (yeah, right.) I always thought, in a year when I am that age, I will be grown up too! But the older I've gotten, I've yet to feel "cool" and "mature". My younger brother provides a lot of entertainment because as a 17 year old between high school and college he obviously thinks he's grown up and invincible. I know that I know better than he does, but he thinks he knows everything, and there's no telling him otherwise!

You know how it goes, you think you know everything, and your parents laugh at you. The older you get, the more you realize that your parents, in fact, aren't crazy and that they actually DO know what they are talking about. (I hate that I'm admitting this.) I think the older you get, the more you realize you know nothing and have nothing figured out.

I thought at 21 I'd be all grown up and have it all figure out. HA! Nothing could be further from the truth. I don't have all the answers, I'm still making mistakes, I'm still figuring things out. But I keep having to remind myself that it is OK to not know everything, and it's always OK to ask for help along the way. No one can get through life alone, that's why God gave us a family. No matter what you do, they will always be there for you, and even when you don't think so, they might be able to help you along the way.

I don't think I'll ever have all the answers, I'll always be a 2 year old girl trying to swim when I can't, but I know that I have people in my life to stop me from drowning. So I'd say I'm doing just fine.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Sticks and Stones

I am almost positive that we were all told a little rhyme in our childhood that went something like, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Yeah, that's crap. It might have been a cute poem, and may have worked in convincing yourself words don't matter, but here's a newsflash, words matter.

I'd argue that words can sometimes hurt more than sticks and stones. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and we are sensitive, or maybe it's because I'm human and I have feelings. The words you say stay with someone forever. Sure, you can apologize and ask for forgiveness, but you can never take it back. It is easy to say things you don't mean while fighting with someone, but once the fight is over, you've left a scar with your words than can never be healed. 

I don't know if you have ever seen the horrible "reality" show Super Nanny, (If you haven't, you're not missing anything.) I happened to come across an episode while channel surfing the other day and was appalled at what I saw. A little boy, I think around 3, had the epitome of a potty mouth. He would yell and cruse at his mother or any one else for that matter. I sat there in horror watching him call his mother a  "stupid b*tch" and an "a**hole." It broke my heart to hear him talk to his mother that way. I realize he is just a baby, but words are words. No one should ever be called those things, especially by their own child.

It's inevitable to have fights with people you love, that's life, but it isn't normal to say things that are completely unacceptable. You'll eventually forget what you fought about, but you'll never forget the horrible things someone said to you. 

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Happy Birthday to... ME!

Well, it's not exactly my birthday, yet! 12 days from today I will be turning 21 years old. I will be a legal beagle! No more fake ID (not that I do that..) and no more having to ask someone else to buy you alcohol, I will be a legal big girl! Every year, I start my birthday countdown in June, and for an entire month count the days until my personal national holiday actually happens. If there's one thing I believe in its birthdays. You get one day out of the year to celebrate you, what's more fabulous than that? A lot of people dread birthdays because it means your getting older, well all I know is I'm not getting older, I'm getting better! My love of birthdays, particularly mine, isn't a secret to those around me. By the time my birthday actually happens, my family and friends are going to be so sick of hearing about my birthday they will celebrate with me simply because it's over!

Since I was little, I've always imagine where I would be in life at certain ages. Where I would go to college, what I would be doing at 18, 21, 25, etc. As the monumental age of 21 approaches, I've started to examine my life, where I've been and where I'm going. Each year around my birthday, I always take a self-examination, to look at the person I've become. This year, being a year I've looked forward to my entire life, is different. For me, I always thought at 21 I would be preparing to graduate from a fabulous southern university and either engaged or close to it. Well, I'm reminded that 21 seemed a whole lot older when I was 13.

Now that I am almost 21, it feels so young, correction, it is so young! I still feel like a kid, I don't have all the answers and I sure as heck don't think I will any time soon. So I've slightly (majorly) readjusted where I thought I'd be at each age.

While it is true I will be a senior at a fabulous SEC school, I am no where near an adult. I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like it that way. I still have a lot left to figure out, but I feel like I'm on a good path. As far as the engagement goes, not a chance of that happening any time soon, I am finally in a relationship that has potential. I've realized that I have the rest of my life to be married, why rush it? We know we love each other and want to be together, but we also know that doesn't mean we have to get married before we're ready. I know that I need to be on my own for a little bit, I need to learn how to support myself. I don't want to marry PC and become completely dependent on him, I want to know that I can stand on my own two feet.

This birthday is special to me for many reasons, the main one being that at 21 years old, I am exactly where I want to be. I have been nothing but blessed my entire life, and it is evident in my life. I have an amazing family, great friends, an amazing boyfriend and I go to an amazing school. I truly couldn't ask for anything more than what I have now. So when blowing out candles 12 days from now, instead of wishing for a boyfriend (like I've done for the past few years) or wishing for a new car/purse/whatever, I'll simply wish for my life to stay the way it is now.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The impossible dream

When I was a single girl, I remember loving being single whenever a friend was having relationship problems or went through a breakup. It reminded me that I was lucky to not have to deal with that. Well, up until now I've been living in my little honey moon period of our relationship, I have forgotten that relationships aren't all butterflies and roses. 

This weekend a friend of mine was broken up with, after four years. While listening to her sob, I had a hard reality check. Here was a great girl crying her eyes out over a boy. A boy she thought loved her and wanted to spend forever with her. I was quickly reminded that sometimes, relationships do end.

My prince charming and I have come to a point where we have found our flaw. The thing that causes the problems in our relationship. While I love PC's job and all the it entails, I do not love how it consumes him 100% and I never hear from him. Last night was election night, a huge night for him. My Dad vetoed me driving the five hours to be with him, so naturally I pouted all day long. I was extremely disappointed that I couldn't spend this important night with him, so he reassured me that he would keep me updated as if I were there. Well, that didn't happen. As of now, I haven't gotten more than a two minute conversation in two days. Now, before you go accusing me of being needy and overbearing, hear me out. I don't need a call every minute of the day, I'm not that dumb. But what I would like is to know that on a very important night in your life, you wanted me to be there and since I wasn't, you can take the time to do what you say you're going to do and call. Hey, I'm not picky, a text will suffice.

Now that I've vented, this brings me to the point that no relationship is perfect. People fight and break up every day. Often times I see girls who are in search for the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, I have to admit I've been that girl. But frankly, it doesn't exist. Perfection isn't possible, and you can't hold your guy up to impossible standards, but where do you draw the line? I always tell myself to pick my battles, meaning, before I get worked up over something, how important is it really? The question is, how to you know when to fight and when to let it go?

I feel like that's the thing about relationships I'll never figure out. A lot of the times, something important to me, isn't important to him. What's worth fighting over? The best I can figure out if its something that will continue to upset me, its worth talking about. I realize no relationship is perfect, and even though I call him Prince Charming, I still realize that he isn't perfect either. 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Big Girl Relationship

I am slowly but surely learning the difference in a mature relationship vs. every other relationship I've ever had. When you are younger, you have a boyfriend because he's the hottest guy on the football team and you're a cheerleader, so why not? You have a boyfriend simply because you can. You and your friends date guys who are all friends so that you can all go on dates together. Young relationships don't take any work because they are easy. You see each other at school, you text whenever you aren't together, you don't have jobs or responsibilities so you can spend all your time texting, talking on the phone, or going to the movies.

When you grow up, relationships change, just like everything else in your life. My boyfriend has a big boy job. A job he loves and is so passionate about, and honestly I love his job too. (After all, politics is what brought us together.) But to say his job is time consuming is an understatement. Needless to say, we aren't spending our days texting and talking on the phone for hours. The real kicker comes in at the fact that we are about 7 hours away from each other. So, not only do we not have time to talk, there's not chance at seeing each other. I don't have to tell you that this is a frustrating situation.

So I'm sure you're asking, why? Well, when you know you want to be with someone, you have to take whatever circumstances life gives you. I won't lie, I can be a needy girlfriend sometimes, so every now and then I pout and tell him he doesn't have time for me. (Yeah I know, I'm such a girl.) The other night while we were talking, he said something that really meant something to me. Sometimes he says really smart things, and I can't help but smile and be proud. He told me that he wasn't dating me just to have a girlfriend, or because he was bored, because he doesn't have time for a girlfriend and it was the last thing he wanted right now. He said, "I'm dating you because I want you, not a girlfriend, you. I know I have to make this work because I need you in my life." He's exactly right. We aren't dating because it's fun (it's not) or because I think he's cute, we're dating because once we met, we knew there was no way we could ever not be together.

I know it sounds cheesy, and trust me I want to vomit for becoming "that girl in a relationship." This relationship is different from any other. It's more like a partnership, we're sort of like a team. We met and our relationship happened faster than a speeding bullet, but never once have we questioned it. It's not fun, it's not normal and it's definitely not easy, but it's right. We know that we don't have a choice but to be together, even if that means we must work extremely hard at it. It's not fun now, but I know one day it will be worth it.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Meet the parents.

There are not many situations I am afraid of. I can almost always talk to anyone. But there is a situation I haven't encountered often that absolutely terrifies me. Meeting the family.

I know this sounds quite trivial to some of you, but for me it is more terrifying than being in the dark. (Yes, I am still afraid of the dark.) I put a lot of value into family approval of relationships, which is probably why meeting the family makes me so nervous. If they don't like me, I'm done.

I dated a guy for a while and let's just say our families didn't exactly approve of the relationship. We were young and thought we were Romeo and Juliet, so we made the relationship last longer than it should have, without our parents acceptance. I can remember going to his house and feeling like an outcast. Walking into that house felt like walking onto a battlefield, no one acknowledged me or even tried to get to know me. It was a miserable experience that made me vow to never again date someone without family approval. 

Needless to say, meeting my new bf's family was terrifying for me. What if they didn't like me? If they didn't approve my fairy tale would go down the drain. Prince Charming and the Parents Who Hate Me, wouldn't exactly make for a story book romance. So of course, when the big day came, I stressed for hours over what to wear, what to say, what not to say. I went over and over in my head what I thought they would be like. For a moment, a thought came into my head that maybe I should tone down the make-up and amount of jewelry, to avoid coming across as high maintenance. I quickly realized it was a better idea to be myself 100%, they would either love me or hate me, but honestly was the best policy. So true to form, I wore an outfit with sparkles. 

On the way there, trying to hide my shaky hands was like trying to hide an elephant in church, not happening. Awful flashbacks of being around a family who hated me crossed my mind. I was not going to let that happen again, and I needed these people to like me, because I really like their son/brother/cousin etc. 

The first meeting went well. Everyone spoke and made an effort to get to know me. I jumped inside every time someone asked me a question. 

After spending more time, I have realized that my amazing boyfriend comes from an amazing family. I love everyone in his family and feel so welcomed around them. I knew he had to have an awesome family because he turned out so well. I am so relieved to say that his family makes me feel at ease, I want to spend time with them. 

One of the greatest joys of being able to spend time with his family is watching him interact with his family. He is a great son, a great brother, a great cousin and a great nephew. I saw that the same kindness he shows to me is definitely not an act. I realized that he is 100% of the time a great guy. He might have the sweetest mom in the world, and I really just want to applaud her because she raised an amazing son. 

My mom used to tell me that when the relationship is right, you will love their family. Having a family dislike me wasn't normal. Again, my mother was right. Falling for his family was simply another piece in the puzzle that fell right into place. An amazing guy with a more than amazing family, someone please pinch me. 

Six months ago if you had told me I would be happily in a relationship making all of you want to puke with my lovey dovey writing, I would have laughed in your face. I didn't expect this to happen, but I am so glad that it has. I am excited about the future, and I promise to keep you informed every step of the way.

Have car, will travel.

Relationships are never perfect, if you think yours is you are simply in denial. I have only been a girlfriend for almost two months now, but I can honestly say I have learned so much it feels like it has been much longer than that. Relationships can be close to perfect, but there will always be something, or somethings, that aren't so perfect. My only peeve about my relationship so far? The distance. Oh yeah, did I mention I am in a long distance relationship? Or, to be cool, an LDR. 

You are going to think I am crazy for this next statement, but just hear me out. There are, in fact, some pros to being in a LDR. Yes, I did just say that. First of all, I am a busy person, I thrive on having a lot on my plate and rushing around, therefore I spread myself extremely thin. Obviously, I can't date someone who sits on their booty all day long, so of course my bf is a busy bee too. Being busy would be a headache if we were in the same town, but didn't have time to spend together. Knowing that I don't have to throw in rushing home to cook a scrumptious dinner for my bf and be all dolled up is a blessing. (OK, so I don't cook, but I'm just saying.) We lead separate lives, which I think is great. We are different people doing different things, but we still are very much a part of each other's lives.

I don't have to tell you that my LDR does, quite frankly, suck sometimes. I have done a lot of driving so far and I see a lot more driving in my future. While on my long journey home from spending a weekend with the bf, I realized that in order to be successful in a LDR you must, I repeat, must have 100% commitment from both sides, otherwise it will absolutely fail. So far, we have been great about being equal in our efforts to see each other. I don't think that he should always come to me, or that I should always go to him. And yes, I dislike driving all over the South, I remind myself that is really the only bad part of our relationship. I don't like that in order to have a date with my bf, I have to drive at least two hours, but if you turn it around, in order to see my bf, all I have to do is drive two hours. Putting it that way makes my drive much easier. 

I am learning that relationships require effort, some more than others. Being in a LDR requires more effort than a normal relationship, but since we have both decided we are in this 100%, it is completely worth it. So yes, sometimes I whine about driving for hours, but I always quickly snap out of it. Would I seriously considering giving up Prince Charming simply because the relationship requires me to drive? Absolutely not.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Take it from me, I've been there.

Today I started working on my baby brother's high school graduation gift. I won't start crying about about I can't believe he's graduating because that would just be boring for anyone reading this. While browsing the card section, I realized that all the graduation cards stink. Step it up, Hallmark. They all said the same thing, "You made it, let's party!" Well, "let's party" isn't exactly the message I was hoping to send to my 17 year-old brother. The only other option was a money-holder card. No, I am not giving him any money, thanks Hallmark.

After 5 minutes of being really angry with the card selection, I decided I would write my own. It would be fabulous, I would simply write a letter to my baby bro. I thought it would be neat to write a "things I wish I had known going to college" sort of letter. While I start thinking about the past three years of my life, I realized something. All the "advice" I thought I should give him is advice people gave me, I just didn't listen.

Number one, go to class. Well, while this is great advice I heard many times, I didn't exactly listen. (Sorry mom and dad, ignore this!) Number two, make friends with your professors. This is a great secret to success I didn't figure out until my junior year. Number three, it is OK to miss a party every now and then. Believe it or not, you will not die if you stay in once in a while and relax! I know, it is really hard to believe, but you should definitely try it sometime.

I think the best advice I got that I didn't listen to is to leave your high school relationships in high school. So many freshmen come to college determined to make their high school romance last, despite the distance. It is true that some people do make it, most of them don't. It is always funny to watch them all dissolve around Christmas time. I wish I had listened, but I just knew it was going to work. Ha, who was I kidding.

So after all this I started to think, I got great advice, but I didn't listen, so why would my baby brother? I could give him all the advice in the world, but who says he will listen to me? We all know he thinks I have all the answers to life anyway (yeah right.) So I realized there is really only one thing he needs to listen to. The best advice I can give him is this, listen to other people's advice. I repeat, listen to other people's advice.

I think the smartest thing you can do is to listen to people who have been where you are going, they know what they are talking about, mainly because they didn't listen to people before them. If I could go back, I would have taken the advice given to me, so I can only hope that my baby brother will do just that.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The burn says it's working

While being blond is fabulous, it also has its downside. To go along with my blond hair, I have extremely fair skin. Blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin, call me albino. For years I struggled with self-tanners, spray tans, trying to go in the sun without being fried to a crisp, when I one day realized I should embrace my fairness. I am always overly careful about being prepared when I go out in the sun, nothing less than SPF 30. Well, sometimes things happen, and let's just say I got fried. So I have been walking about miserably for the past few days in pure agony over my poor fried skin. I have been slathering on the lotion every five minutes, and I can't even move without a jolt of pain running through my body. 

Well today I was sitting in Starbucks studying (also known as, people watching.) I over heard these very, very tan (fake) blondes talking about, what else, tanning. One of them proudly announced that she was a member at two tanning salons so that she could tan twice daily. The other one responded with, "You are a genius!" Um, not the word flashing through my mind. The tan addict then told her friend how yesterday she laid in the sun for hours while pouring baby oil on her skin to ensure that she got 3rd degree burn all over her body.  She said, "I am in so much pain from the sun burn it is ridiculous, but at least I will be tan."

Here I was in agony over my accidental sun burn when this smart girl was purposely burning her skin for a tan. My skin was burning just listening to her. I can't imagine why anyone would purposely burn themselves just so they can look like a beach bum Hello, self-tanner anyone?

I just don't understand why someone would basically ask for skin cancer and be a self-proclaimed tan addict, but who am I to judge. I have my vices, but tanning is not one of them. If I was in charge I would make every one wear sunscreen, but that's just me.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Real World: South

May brings my favorite time of the year: wedding season. (No, I am not getting married, keep reading.) But  May also brings another season, graduation season. It is the time of year people are packing up and moving on with their lives. I normally don't really care about graduation season, but this year is a little different.

This May, my baby brother will graduate high school. First of all, in my eyes he is still 12 so I am confused as to why he is graduating? But, realistically speaking, he is actually 17 and he is graduating and going to  very fine southern university in the fall. This scares the heck out of me. He is my baby brother and in a few weeks, I will see him graduate high school. I will probably cry more than my mom. He is insanely talented and I just wish he knew the great things he will do in life. Ladies, he is going to be THE catch, but be warned, I am VERY protective. It is strange for me to think of all the things I have watch him go through. Good times and very bad times, he has become a young man right before my eyes. Every day I am reminded how old I am when I think of how old he is getting. I wish I could make it stop!

This May also touches my heart for another reason, it is the last graduation I am not a part of. Tonight in chapter we had senior speeches. For the past three years I have listened to people I don't know cry about graduating and leaving their friends behind. This year, it was people I actually liked who were up their telling stories about their past four years. It is bittersweet to know that exactly one year from now I will be up their crying about leaving.

I don't feel old enough for this, I feel so young. I still feel like a naive little freshman wondering wide eyed around campus. It is hard to believe I have been here for three years, I am most definitely not the same person I was when I came here. Lessons have been learned and mistakes have been made, but all of it has made me into who I am. I don't want to grow up, I'd like to stay a kid forever, but unfortunately Never Never Land only exist in a Disney movie. When I realize how my life is slowly starting to fall into place, it creeps me out. I have watched my older brother find a girl and settle down (which I thought I would never see.) I have seen my little brother break out of his shell and become the best guy I know, who would have thought I'd look up to my baby brother one day? I have seen friends go and come and fall apart. I have been at the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. I have had my heart broken. I have found my bridesmaids. I have failed a class and I have made A's in classes. And who would have thought after three years of being the single gal I'd find a true Southern Gent to call my own? 

My life is falling into place whether I want it to or not. I could continue to pout about growing up and how I wish it would stop, but that would be wasting time. Instead, I am going to make the very most of the next year. I will go to football games even if it is monsooning outside. I will go to drink specials, just because. I will go out even if I have a test the next day. I will always answer the phone when a friend calls. I will continue to show up at my big bro's house without calling even though he yells at me because it's the only way I see him. I will call my baby bro to make sure he is alive and doing what he needs to be doing. I will make it a point to go see my cadet do all his funky military school stuff, because it is important to him. I will laugh as much as I can, cry when I need to and I will absolutely never hold anything back. 

Here's to my last year as a college kid.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Selective Hearing

As anyone in a relationship knows, there will be things about your significant other that bother you. If you disagree with that statement you are either single or lying. One thing about my new beau that tends to bother me is that whenever he gets on a roll talking about something, he doesn't stop. While this tends to bother me, I have to remind myself that I should be glad I am dating something who actually has something to say. I won't lie, he is a pretty smart fella. But I will say that I can have a very short attention span, I have a tendency to tune people out, whoops. So having a beau who likes to talk and a short attention span make for an interesting relationship. However, I did say he was smart, and he is, so sometimes he says something that makes my ears perk up. Sometimes he says things and it makes me want to grab a pen and write them down! Today, he said something that got to me so much, I am telling you about it. I'll be honest and say that I can't exactly remember the conversation we were having, or what was said before and after, but I do remember that today he said, "I can't promise you the world, but I can promise you me."

I have a hard time remembering that nothing and no one is perfect. I often beat myself up for not being a perfect person. I have to remind myself that perfection will never happen, I just need to let that go. It also doesn't help that I have a pretty close to perfect boyfriend, and I wonder every single day why on earth he thinks I am perfect too. But that's a different story. I realized that in relationships, people often get caught up in trying to be everything and give everything to the person they love. You want for them to be happy so you would literally do anything in the world for them. But the problem is, the world is not ours to promise. We have no control on anything that happens in this life. So while it is, of course, romantic for your beau to promise you the world, they are really just giving you false hope. So, when my ever so smart beau told me that he couldn't promise me the world, but he could promise himself to me, my heart melted.

Now, before I continue, let me just remind you that I never want to be that couple, you know, the ones you hate because they are so googley eyed over each other?

I appreciated his honesty. He realizes he can't promise me the moon and stars and everything under them, but he can (and has) promised himself to me. I know that he would give me the moon and the stars if he could, but let's be real, he can't So instead, he promises himself to me. It literally knocked the wind out of me and I realized that promising himself to me was worth more than any star in the sky. I don't need the world, I just need a promise of commitment. I don't need the world, what would I do with it anyway? I just need him. Who knew it could be so simple? You don't need a guy to promise you the moon, you don't need a guy who spends entirely too much money trying to impress you, those things won't last and in the long run, you won't remember them. But what does matter is that you have the other person, 100%.

I am learning as I go about this whole, how to be a girlfriend thing. While it is challenging, it is also fun. While I will never admit this to him, the boy is helping me learn more than he knows. So, just remember, you can't promise anyone the world, but you can promise yourself.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The new "B" word.... boyfriend.

After almost two weeks of being someone's girlfriend, I still am no where near used to it. Every time I have to say the words, "my boyfriend" I can't help but make a strange face as if the words taste terrible coming out of my mouth. It's not that I don't like it, it's that I can't believe it yet.

My older brother has grown tired over the past two years or so of my desperation, as he called it, for a boyfriend. In his eyes, it was all over my face that I wanted love (and an MRS. degree.) I didn't necessarily agree with him, but I also couldn't disagree. So needless to say, he is somewhat shocked that someone so desperate as me actually caught herself a man, and a decent one at that. He is definitely not the only one surprised. I knew I had done something right when he said, "This kid actually likes you... don't mess it up."

I relive those days over and over in my head, trying to figure out what the heck I could have done right? Better yet, what am I still doing right for him to be sticking around? I do not considering myself good at the role of The Girlfriend. After all the love and relationship books I have read, you would think I would be a pro at this? Believe me, I am equally surprised.

So after two years of playing the desperate girl praying each and every night for a man, I should be ecstatic? So why is it, that now that I have exactly what I have wanted, I can't stop playing the What If game.

This is a dangerous game because there are never winners. I go over every little detail in my mind, trying to figure out what he could possibly see in me, and then I always conclude that he must secretly be crazy. Mental instability is the only reason I can think of that I could land a catch like this. After hours of beating myself up and trying to figure out what I did to deserve this, I realized that he is not the mentally unstable one, it was me.

Here I was, trying to find a reason I didn't deserve to be happy, when I know for a fact that I do. I have had plenty of time to myself dreaming of the 'perfect guy' and wondering if there really was such a thing. I have always kissed more frogs than one ever should in a lifetime. I have done all the single girl things, and spent more time being a single girl than I had hoped. So now, in my lap fell Prince Charming and I can't stop trying to find a reason that it won't work. I keep trying to find his imperfections. Aside from the fact that he has the worst case of A.D.D. I have ever seen, I have failed to find any skeletons. I am wasting so much time trying to analyze this situation, and figure out how to 'not mess it up.' It's not like I wanted to find something that would bring an end to our relationship, I just have a hard time realizing that for once, something good has happened to me. A prayer has been answered and wishes came true.

It is time to stop trying to find reasons why I shouldn't get what I want and seeing all the reasons that I should. Happiness is being served on a silver platter, but I am too busy looking at other things to notice.

Note to self: Stop that.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

It finally happened.

If you read over my posts, there is a common theme of single-ness. It is no secret that I have been single for quite some time. I have written many, many times about my lack of a love life. I'd like to think my single status has been a great inspiration for many of my writings. Well, now I have a new source of inspiration that will change my writing completely. Instead of thoughts coming from a 20 something single girl, you guessed it, I am someone's girlfriend. I know, I am just as shocked as you are. I'm not used to the word "girlfriend" and probably won't be for quite some time.

How did this happen, who is he? Well, in February  I attended a convention for Republicans all across the country. For a few days I was lucky enough to fraternize with other conservatives. Needless to say, I was in my element. On the very first day, I (literally) ran into a cadet from my home state. I noticed his uniform and of course had to mention that I was from the great state of South Carolina as well. I got nothing more than his name before the Senator I was waiting to speak to came around the corner. That was that. The next night, a group of us went to dinner at a sushi place. The dinner literally took three hours so there was plenty of conversation time. Someone mentioned that a table near us was a group from South Carolina, naturally I had to go over. While chatting with some girls a guy at the end of the table shouted, "Hey, I met you yesterday." Um, you did? Because I am pretty sure I would have remembered meeting someone as good looking as you. But I played along. You guessed it, my cadet. We chatted for a while and the conversation ended in him taking my phone number. I still thought nothing of it because I was used to a guy asking for my number, and then never calling. I went on with my night without hearing from the cadet and forgot about it. The next night, my phone rang. It was my last night there, but we ended up going to dinner with a group and hanging out the rest of the night. I didn't assume to hear from him once I left for Alabama and he went to South Carolina. For some strange reason, he did keep in touch. I am not exactly sure what I did right, but apparently I did something because after a month of talking back and forth, I was no longer a single girl.

It is a strange feeling for me and I don't exactly think I am good at this whole girlfriend thing. Especially since I have gotten myself into a long distance relationship. It is still new and we are still learning about each other. We have a lot in common, after all it was our love of the GOP and South Carolina that brought us together. From now on, you can expect to be updated and I am sure you will enjoy me attempting to be a good girlfriend.

Follow the leader

Many of you probably think I have fallen off the face of the earth, truth is, I pretty much have. You see, I am in charge of my sorority's dance team. Now, if you are not a sorority girl you are probably laughing out loud right now, and I don't blame you. To anyone that is not involved in this "dance competition" you can't understand what it is. Therefore, I will not try to make you understand. The point I am shooting for it that this is my first leadership position. It is the first time that I have been in charge. I make the rules, I call the shots, it is all me. This is has quite the learning experience for me, I have grown a lot in the past few months. My entire life I have been a passive person, a people pleaser. I never was one to speak up or to take charge. This position has pretty much forced me to jump into the driver's seat and take the wheel. At first, it was hard for me to realize that I didn't have to ask permission from anyone, I was in charge. I made all the big decisions. As scary as this has been, I have proved to myself and others that I can do it. I have more than shocked myself in this process. I have learned so much about myself and others that I would otherwise never have. Although, I have learned that it is lonely at the top. When you put yourself in a leadership position, you are putting yourself in the line of fire. While you receive positive feedback, you will also receive negative feedback. My skin is 10 times as think as it was six months ago. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that there is a solution to every problem, you just have to find it. My entire life, when something has gone wrong I have looked to other people to fix it. Now, when things have gone wrong, everyone is looking at me waiting on me to fix it. At first, this was a terrifying thing. Now I have proved to myself that I can, in fact, solve problems. You have to know that things will not go as planned. You take things as they come, and deal with problems one at a time. Six months ago no one, including myself, thought I was capable of doing this job, six months later, the best reward is knowing that I have done a good job.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Procrastination: America's favorite pastime.

It is no secret that it takes extremely little to stress me out. I get stressed easily and quickly and I don't even try to hide it. Call it a character flaw. Sometimes I get so stressed out I want to cry, sometimes (most of the time) I just get stressed out and eat. Lately, I live in a constant state of stress, thank you Greek Sing. It is only Tuesday and I am already worn out and couldn't be more ready for Friday.

What is causing my stress, you ask? Well, for starters, Greek Sing. From now until April 14, Greek Sing will stress me out. All day, every day. I love it, I do, but at the same time, I hate it.

This week, I happen to have three tests, yes, that's right, three. So obviously I have been studying my butt off all day long, wrong. Today I went into the chapter room at 1p.m., at 3p.m. I realized I had done absolutely nothing. For two hours I sat and did everything but study. If my tests were on Facebook, I would pass with flying colors. I discovered today that you can play games on Facebook, who knew? This probably wasn't a good discovery seeing as I spent more time playing bejeweled than learning biology. Whoops.

I realized today, this is why I make bad grades. (Light Bulb.) I set on my butt and do nothing, but then turn around and say oh yeah, I studied for like five hours! Wrong. I played on Facebook for four hours, studied for one. Same thing (not.)

Why do we procrastinate? (BTW -by the way, come on, 2010, hello- I am writing this as I should be studying, i.e., procrastination.) We know we have stuff to do, so why not just do it? Sure, studying sucks now, but when I get my grade back, chances are I am going to wish I had studied more. I have been so stressed out this week because I have three tests, ah so scary! But in reality, I have barely prepared for them. I have pretended to prepare for them (exhausting,) but I haven't really. So I am really only adding to my stress level by procrastinating. It is now the night before 2/3 of my tests and I am extremely stressed out over realizing I haven't studied nearly enough, (oops.)

Procrastination is a part of college. People have done it for years and will continue for many years to come. But I am choosing right now to be productive. No more Facebook games, no more pretending to study and no more staring at the pages waiting for the information to sink into my brain. It is time to get down to business. (Let's see how long this lasts.)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Take the good with the bad.

Since putting myself into a leadership position I have learned more than most may learn in a year. I have probably aged 10 years, pulled a million hairs out of my head, lost many hours of sleep and said more curse words than usual, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I have learned that with all the bad, there is always something good, you just have to see it.

At first, whenever I head negative feedback, I freaked out. I let it get to me; I cried, wanted to quit, called everyone I knew for reassurance, all the typical girl things. Soon I realized I was acting like a child, and if I wanted to be a good leader, I had to knock it off. I realized I was letting all the bad out way the good, which is backwards form how it should be. Whenever I received positive feedback, I forgot, but when I received negative feedback, I dwelled on it. I was driving myself crazy letting people's words affect me. Unfortunately it took a really big blow to my ego to finally make me step back and take a good look at the whole picture. I realized that with everything negative I heard, I also heard five positive things. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know the five is greater than one, so why focus all my attention on to the one? Because no one wants to be disliked, I want everyone to like me, I was everyone to think I am doing an excellent job, but that's not life. Not everyone will always like you or approve of the job you are doing. I realized that when I got negative feedback I just needed to say OK, but when I got positive feedback, I needed to listen.

I always say the proof is in the puddin', and it is so true. My performance as a leader will show in time, until then I just have to let the negativity roll off my shoulders and pay no attention to it. The most important lesson I have learned through this experience is that you need friends you can trust. I would be lost if I didn't have friends to give me feedback that I trusted. It is always good to hear feedback, you just can't listen to feedback of people who are just angry. Angry people are only hurting themselves by being angry. The best thing is to not let other people's bitterness affect you. When there is a choice of listening to bad and listening to good, always go with good.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Nice girls finish last.

If you have a pulse, then you have at least heard about the disaster known as The Bachelor. I have been a Bachelor fan since the beginning. I was all over Trista and Ryan's relationship ( I picked him from the start!) As we all know, I am a huge fan of love, so a show whose main goal is to help singles find love, I'm all over it! Unfortunately, the only problem with this show is that I am not allowed to pick who gets a rose. If I were able to decide, there would be many more bachelor marriages happening! So like I said, if you have a pulse, you have heard about the Tenley vs. Vienna saga. If you haven't, then you really need to get out more often. A quick re-cap: There was Tenley, America's Sweetheart, the nicest, classiest, sweetest girl you have even seen. She pretty much fell out of a Disney movie. I couldn't imagine a more perfect wife, mom, friend, etc. Then you have Vienna. 23 year old Florida girl with an extremely sketchy past that includes stripping and a 3 week marriage. Sounds like a total winner, right? Honestly, there was no comparison between the two. But, in true guy fashion, Jake (The Bachelor, for those of you who live in 1980,) chose Vienna. It was literally the choice heard 'round the world because in that moment, every girl in the world screamed in agony.

While watching this train wreck of a Bachelor finale, I thought to myself, "Jake just proved what we all know, Nice girls always finish last." As we watched Tenley drive away, STILL being too nice and keeping her composure like a true lady, we all knew that the wrong girl had been chosen. Here Tenley was, the nicest girl in the world, heart broken. We all know Jake picked Vienna because she screams "SEX." Jack said many times he had a "natural physical connection" with Vienna, while he was worried about the "lack" of physical connection with Ten-Ten. We all know this means that Tenley was a lady and wouldn't throw herself at him, which is apparently what he wanted.

So why is this, that nice girls finish last? Or do they? Maybe we just think of it as "last place" because it is the here and now. All humans want instant gratification, we are extremely selfish. Later is never good enough and waiting is never an option. As a single girl, I despise when people say, "he's out there!" OK, how about you go "out there" and bring him to me, now. We see today as finishing last. Tenley didn't find love today, so she "lost." But 5 years from now, Vienna and Jack could be divorce, and Tenley could be happily married to the guy of her dreams, who finished last this time? We look at single girls and feel pity for them, which as a single girl there is NOTHING worse than this. We aren't finishing last because we aren't in a relationship at the moment, we just aren't finished running the race yet.

I would be lying if I said I was completely content with being single and watching girls around me find love. But I just know that I am not losing anything by being single. I am just not there yet. My day will come, I am not finishing last, or in any place for that matter. I am just now starting the race.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I heart D.C.

This past weekend I ventured up to Washington D.C. (the birthplace of Southern Blonde.) It was a surreal experience, being back after a few years. It felt as if my one month stint there was nothing more than a dream. I kept experiencing deja vu, which is a very strange feeling. Why did I go you ask? I went for CPAC. If you don't know what CPAC is, you should. Allow to me spell it out for you, Conservative Political Action Conference, basically one giant pep rally for conservatives. I was able to hear speakers such as: Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Scott Brown, Mitt Romney, Jim DeMint, Marco Rubio, Mike Pence, John Ashcroft, Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck ( just to name a few.) To say this was the greatest experience of my life is a complete understatement. I have never been more excited to be a conservative than I am now. It was a religious experience, I almost started speaking at tongues at one point. When I say religious experience, I'm talking a good ole Southern Baptist tent revival, complete with many "amens!" and "you tell 'ems!" It was hard to understand how after hearing such moving and motivational speeches, any one could still be a liberal. But then I realized, that if everyone in this country were smart and became a conservative, who would we have left to make fun of? (Good one, I know.)

But aside from being happier than a child on Christmas at CPAC, there is a peace I have just being in D.C. It was strange to remember me not that long ago roaming the halls of Cannon, pretending I knew what I was doing. Although, I did start to realize how not so good of an idea it was to find a boyfriend 3 days after being there. I realized that having a boyfriend then allowed me to not have to pay attention to where I was going, how I was getting there, or really anything for that matter. This time around, I was convinced I would be able to navigate for everyone, since I did live there and all, but I was shocked to realized I didn't know how to get from point A from point B at all. Taking it a step further, I realized just how much I didn't belong in D.C. that young and naive. An 18 year old freshman in college has no place in our nation's capitol, unless you are one of those smart people who actually know what you are talking about.

I am just coming into my own when it comes to politics. I can now answer, with confidence, any question you throw at me about why I am a Conservative. I can also tell you why I am not a Liberal, nor will I ever be fore that matter. Two years ago, I would have had nothing to answer with. Would now being the right time for me to be doing a D.C. internship? Probably so. I am, however, glad that I went when I did. It prompted me to dive into politics, to find my own answers, to form my own opinions. And most importantly, Southern Blonde was born in D.C.!

A saying I kept hearing over and over again at CPAC is "What a difference a year makes." While obviously the speakers were referring to Obama's plummeting approval ratings (shocking,) this phrase also carries a deeper meaning. What a difference two years makes. Two years ago I was following around Intern #1 on the streets of D.C., learning nothing for myself, doing nothing on my own, and knowing absolutely nothing. I had no place there. Here I stand two years later, electively at the largest gathering of Conservatives in America. I was there because I wanted to be, I was learning, I took notes, I listened, I formed my own opinions. I took in everything this leaders had to say because I wanted to. I walked around the streets of D.C. without anyone holding my hand. For the first time in my life I felt grown up. I could see myself staying in D.C. I felt at home. Two years ago I couldn't have told you what I did or didn't believe. Two years later, I can confidently say that I am a Conservative and I actually know why.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Twenty. Ten.

Happy New Year. I have successfully lived through another decade, wow. New Year's Day means Day 1 of new year resolutions. I wonder how many people will sign up at the gym today? How many people won't drink a soda today? Every year I usually make a long list of resolutions and I am always determined to follow through with them. This year, I didn't make a single resolution. Why, you ask? Well, I don't feel like it's a new year. Sure, today is the first day of 2010, but for me, it just puts another mark on my timeline. I am half way through with my junior year of college, I am 6 months shy of being 21 years old, I am still a kid, but close to adulthood, to me, I have only reached the half-way mark. Everyone sees today as a new beginning, but I don't. I see today as a reminder that time is flying by, that the world doesn't stop for me, for anyone. I am reminded that I don't need to make new year's resolutions, I need to make every day resolutions. I need to wake up every day with a clean slate, think of every morning as a fresh start. I want to be a better me, not just for 2010, but for every day. I want to do better in school not for 2010, but for me. As we say goodbye to another year, I can't help but think of how I have grown in the past year, It doesn't seem real. I don't feel any older, but I am. Time is ticking away, and instead of wasting time wishing it would slow down, I need to make the most of every day, every minute, every second. Today is all we have, we all are blessed to have seen the beginning of a brand new year. Count your blessings, move on from the past, and make every day count. Here's to 2010 and all the trouble I am sure to get into.