Monday, August 23, 2010

If you love me, you'll lie to me.

The other night, my roomie and I decided to watch a movie. We decided on watching, He's Just Not That Into you, and I hadn't seen it in awhile, so I was excited! I also realized, I hadn't seen it since I was in a relationship, this could be interesting. I remember watching it as a single girl and feeling bitter. I only remember being reminded that I was "that girl."

After watching it again, I'm not really sure what I did that was "right" to attract the right guy! I also realized that I have many friends who say they are looking for Mr. Right, but their actions completely disagree with them. In the movie, all the friends continue to lie to each other, simply encouraging insane behavior. Why do we lie to each other? Because it makes us feel better! But it's insane! We lie to our friends and tell them what they want to hear rather than what they NEED to hear, the truth!

Since I have become the girl in a serious relationship, (again, not sure how I managed to do that!), friends have started coming to me for guy advice, assuming that since I have a Mr. Right, I must have some answers. Well, I like to think I am OK with advice, so I have been trying my best! I give different advice than other friends though, and I don't know how well it goes over with the people I'm giving it to. I give them the truth. The cold, hard, honest truth.

Let's look at this scenario. A friend of mine went out, met a cute guy, had one too many drinks and went home with home. Whoops. Of course, he said all the right things, acted interested in seeing her again, and even took her to class the next morning. Well, she was beaming as she told me how wonderful he was. Honestly, I couldn't help from laughing and shaking her to death. I learned something a long time ago: upon a first impression, guy will place you into one of two categories, girls they sleep with, and girls they take home to Mom. Once you are categorized, you don't really switch teams, your branded for life. Of course I wasn't surprised when she didn't hear from him the next day. I also wasn't surprised when she did hear from him a few days later. He said all the right things like, "I knew you were busy this weekend, so I didn't want to bother you by texting you." What a prince charming. Truth is, he didn't think about you all weekend and probably shacked up with another drunk girl. And of course, the playboy asked if she wanted to, "come over and watch a movie, or something." OK let's stop. Here's the kicker... OR SOMETHING. Girls tend to overlook this as they dance around their room because he wants to hang out. He doesn't want to hang out with you. He wants you to come over, start a movie and then end up in his bedroom. So of course, I said OK, redeem yourself, do not spend the night with him. Would any one be surprised if I told you she didn't stay at her own place that night? She's also convinced that they have something and he genuinely likes her for who she is, because he told her so.

Here is my new pet peeve, girls who go on and on about how they want to find Mr. Right, they want to be in a serious relationship with a good guy, but their actions tell a completely different story. They call me and wonder why they can't be in a relationship too. Well, I'll tell you. I decided I wanted to be serious. Going out was no longer a priority. I spent my time doing things that would help my career and just help me in general. I got involved in things that interested me. I met a boy at a conservative conference, we began talking and getting to know each other. We talked for weeks before our actual first date. We figured out that we liked the same things, had the same morals, and truly enjoyed talking to each other, and thus, a relationship was born.

If you are telling me you want to be serious, get serious. Stop going out, drinking like a Freshman and going home with guys. Guys won't take you seriously until you take yourself seriously. The right guy will come, but only when you're ready. To put it simply, nice guys want to date nice girls. The end.

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