I'm a big kid now

Today was initiation day for our little pledges who are as of now official sisters! As I was watching the first group go, I couldn't help but remember my initiation two whole years ago. It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the start of my sorority life and I know have only one year left. We all say all the time how we are growing up, yada yada yada. I don't think you really understand growing up until you watch it happen to someone else. It's like parents, you know how sometimes your parents say weird things and become sentimental in the way you pour milk into your cereal. We don't understand why they do those things now, but one day we will. No, I do not I repeat do NOT have a child, but I do have a baby brother. I know he thinks I am crazy sometimes but it is really hard to see him growing up. He is a senior in high school and about to go off to college and even though I remember how cool I was at that age, in my eyes he will forever be 12 years old. I look at him and it makes me want to cry seeing the man he is turning into. I wish he could always stay the little boy who couldn't pronounce my name right forever, but I know that he can't. I can't watch myself grow up, but I know that I am growing up by watching it happen to him. Watching his life play out and all the opportunities he has going on bring tears to my eyes. Even though I know he is going places, I just wish he could stay my baby brother forever. I can't imagine how my mom must feel watching all 3 of her babies growing up. My older brother will always be old to me, he will always be a few steps ahead of me, but my baby bro will always be my baby bro. Growing isn't something you can watch happen to yourself, you can only see it in other people. I feel so lucky to have a baby brother that I can watch grow up before my eyes, but it is very bittersweet. I don't know how I am going to handle myself when he goes to college next year, babies can't go to college! I know that I will just have to deal with it, and share my sorrows with my mother who feels the same way I do, except more. I know he can't understand when I get so sentimental sometimes, but it is because he doesn't have anyone younger than him. I am OK with him thinking I am crazy, because I am. I am crazy over the fact that life is going too fast, and crazy of the fact that my baby brother isn't really a baby anymore. The thoughts of him going away to college and become a little man is extremely crazy. But having a little brother shows me the true meaning of growing up, but no matter what he will always be my baby brother whether he likes it or not.