Does this dress make me look fat?

Friends are the people who tell you when that dress you just bought makes your butt look like J.Lo and Kim Karsahian had a baby, they also tell you when you look so Lindsay Lohan skinny its dangerous. Your girlfriend is your go-to for all your q's, should you get bangs, what should you wear, should you dye your hair, they even tell you when its time to call Jenny Craig. Why is it that your girlfriends want advice on everything in their life until it comes to men? Who knows what kind of guy you should be with better than your BFF? Although, I never said I was perfect, I can remember after I ended things with loser of the moment, I would say to then BFF, "Why didn't you stop me?!" Only to get the, omg youre an idiot, look. We all think hes Prince Charming, if you look past that time you caught him sexting his ex, or that time when he told you he hated "insert word here" about you, or even that time he went as far to tell you his true feelings about your family, or heaven forbid, your shoes. We all dream of the day we find that guy that our bestie will meet him and smile and you know what that means, break out that folder you started when you were 12 with all your details and flowers and the numbers of the most fabulous cake designers and florist, its wedding time! So why is it that we waste our time on the guys that make the bestie go, "girl puh-lease!" Why is it that we stay with the jerk, the Jason Mesnick who will wait to broadcast our breakup to the national world?! I have a bestie now and let me tell you, she is worthy of a Prince Charming. but after all, she is a fellow blonde from the south. And she is wasting her time on the loser, with a capital L O S E and R! I being the smashingly intelligent blonde that I am knew from the beginning he was no greater than her bringing home Nick Hogan. After giving her every excuse in the world for not wanting a relationship, aka, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. They proceeded to have a "relationship" for several months. One day, after dropping her off from a date, she got a text, I repeat, a TEXT that said, "I just don't want a relationship anymore." Oh yeah, he really did. After crying for a week on my beautiful blonde shoulder, she tells me, "we are working things out." Now, my first reaction is, sweetie, he dumped you in a TEXT! I personally would like to kick him with my newly exfoliated foot where the sun don't shine, but my momma raised my better than that. After many heart to hearts she says to me, "Just let me make my own mistakes." I then realized that we girls want our friends to prevent us from any mistake we could possible ever make, unless it invovles a man. Are we so desperate to have a man in our life that we will let someone break up with us in a way a 13 year old would laugh at? This made me realize that I am entirely too desperate for a boy, yes, I admit it! I would love a charming southern gentleman in my life, but seeing my bestie wasting time on a loser who doesn't even deserve the kiss the bottom of her fabulous foot, tells me that waiting just might be worth it. So for all of you fabulous single girls reading every "find a husband" book known to man, get up and get moving. I say, work on you, go to the gym, find a new hobby, buy yourself something fabulous and celebrate you. Cheers to the day when you have someone to celebrate you with you.