Confessions of a shopaholic

I'm sure many of you have seen this movie. I missed it while it was in the theaters (who has time to go to the movies these days?) So I have been patiently awaiting it to come out for rental, and ta-da, it has! Just judging by the title, I was positive this movie would be the story of my life. Well, how shocked was I to see not only was this so close to my life, I found it inspirational. Now, let me just say this, I do not have a ridiculous amount of debt, I do not even own a credit card, (shocking, but its called living under your parents rules.) So don't freak out, I do not having a shopping addiction, at least not yet, the day I get a credit card might be a different story. It is nothing new that I worry every single day over what I am going to do with my life, but I have extremely high goals and very large dreams. Much like Becks, I hope to one day live in NYC with a fabulous job and a fabulous closet. Even though the main purpose of the movie is to pay off her debt, the one key thing she needs in her life: stability. In order to have a stable credit card balance, you need a stable paycheck. In order to gain a stable paycheck you need a stable job. In order to gain a stable job, you need a stable life. See where I'm going with this? Stability is never the answer to the question, "What do you want in life?" But it should be. I continue to agonize over what the heck I am going to do with my life, but I do know one thing, I want stability. I'd like a stable job, a stable paycheck, and preferably a stable relationship. I think people are too hard on the real life Rebbecca Bloomwoods, but if you ask me, they are the smartest people in the world. I know the my life is nothing but chaos now, but all chaos eventually leads towards stability, if you work hard enough. So I know that if I just focus and work hard, I too can find stability in life. Hopefully even a stable man like Luke Brandon :).

Class is more than something you go to in college..

Growing up I will admit I was and might still be a bit naive. I thought, for the longest time, everyone lived like I did and that the things I did, things I had and the way my family operated was completely normal. My oh so wonderful small town taught me otherwise. I won't waste your time rambling about how blessed I am and yada yada, but, there is something that many people lack that doesn't cost a dime; class. Class is timeless, everyone should have some, but unfortunately, many people have no class. My mom taught me from a very early age to be above all, classy. Southern girls, if raised properly, have a reputation for being classy. For the most part, this is true. I've been dealing with a situation with a "friend," (i use that term ever so loosely,) while I won't bother you with the details of said situation, I will tell you that after being ignored, I finally have just given up because I realize this person has zero class. It bothers me, I mean, didn't every ones mother teach them they way mine did? Being classy, having manners, being a lady, these should be things we are taught and we just live our life that way. Let me tell you, people can be mean, and i mean MEAN!! Down right vicious. In my life I have had my share of mean people, people who just did mean things for a reason I still don't understand. It just hurts me, I want to bring them to my mother and let her give them a lesson on what it means to be a lady. People will never cease to amaze me, but its people that you think you are friends with who will shock you the most. I think we all need to have a refresher course in how to be a classy lady, no one is perfect lets be honest. I think it just bothers me when people act so rude because I expect everyone to have class. I suppose I just need to remind myself that not everyone has class, even though they should.

Reality-Check

Here I am about to enter my Junior year of college. In 2 very short years I will be graduating and heading out into the real world. My entire life my life plan has been as follows: Go to amazingly huge and wonderful Southern University (check,) join the best sorority full of the finest girls on campus (not so much) find the most proper southern gentleman coming from a very prominent southern family (still looking..) be proposed to with a 4 carat beautiful diamond and have my very own candlelight (there's still time..) graduate and get married and live the best life ever. OK, well obviously nothing has gone according to plan. This is causing me to have a midlife crisis, well I suppose since I haven't even hit 20 yet, a quarter-life crisis. What am I doing with my life? Why am I here? Where am I going? I am taking a class this summer and we have to make a resume, sounds normal right? This made me realize that I have nothing to put on said resume except a sorority I don't even like, hyperventilation starts now. I don't know what I want to do with my life, all I know is I want to do something fabulous and somewhere fabulous. Every day of my life I wonder, would I be happier somewhere else? Should I transfer? Should I get a job? Should I be doing an internship? Is this what my life is going to be? Is this as good as it gets? I am obviously full of questions, but not full of answers! College is supposed to be the greatest 4 years of your life, what if I don't feel that way? What if I am spending my college days worrying about what I am going to do when my college days are over? Do other people feel like this? Are other people as happy as they seem? Does anyone my age actually have it all together? Sad thing is, only I can decide what I want to do, which is a problem because I don't know. I need someone to tell me what to do, maybe I should hire a life coach? That would be horrific, but, I do feel like I need that. I only have 2 years left, I want them to be amazing, so wonderful that I look back on them and smile. I also want them to be worthwhile, I should be working toward some kind of career goal so that when I do graduate, I am for sure headed somewhere fabulous. Time to start figuring out what to do in order to get my fairy tale southern life.

Humbling Reminder

I think that every now and then God sends a long something to hit us in the head and remind us how blessed we really are. I often get caught up in my own life and in my own problems and forget that there are many, many people in this world who have it way worse than me. I forget how lucky I am all too often. In one of my classes we are working on a group project, I got to talking with a girl in my group and what I learned about her shocked me. She was telling me that she is getting married at the end of the month, sounds amazing right? She has been engaged for 8 years, she gave birth to her son right when they got engaged, she knew she couldn't afford a wedding so they have been saving up for 8 years! An engagement is something I get so excited dreaming of, I'll get engaged and have about a year to plan the perfect wedding and never bat an eye about who will pay for it all. On top of saving up for her wedding, she works the night shift at the children's detention center, I can't even begin to imagine what that job is like not to mention working through the night. She then told me that she pays for school her self. So lets recap, planning a wedding, has an 8 year old son, works all night long, goes to school during the day and pays for school her self. Wow. I think my life is hard and I don't do anything other than go to school which I definitely don't pay for myself. It reminded me that I am so blessed that I can't even comprehend what living her life would be like. It reminded me to stop and just be thankful for all that I have. I genuinely wish that everyone could be blessed like I have been but I know that isn't possible. People like this girl in my class show me that some people really do struggle and people really have it hard. Next I get stressed out and think that my life is tough, I will think of this girl and remind myself to stop whining, life could be a lot worse.