And the winner is..

We all remember high school days, especially our senior year. One thing you had to look forward to was senior superlatives. Who was going to be most popular? best dressed? most likely to succeed? If you went to a high school like mine, you went to school with the same people from kindergarten on, so by the time senior year rolled around, you pretty much knew who was going to get what. I was a superlative. I wasn't most popular, best dressed or most likely to succeed, I was most talkative. Now, most people might think this isn't something to be proud of, but I do. Even today I still get told time and time again that I talk a lot. My older brother constantly reminds me that I am "overwhelming." So what if I talk a lot? I think you can tell a lot by a person's senior superlative. The girl who was most popular always had a boyfriend and he was always an athlete. She was a cheerleader, in the chorus, and a dancer. She was always every where and always smiling. The girl who was best dressed always put an effort into her wardrobe and cared if people complimented her on what she wore. The girl who was most likely to succeed always studied, always. She always made A's and when she didn't, she cried. She was involved in SGA and various other clubs and we all knew she would go to a smart people college. So what does being most talkative say about me? I think it says I have a personality. I am never afraid to tell you what I am thinking, even when I shouldn't. I think it is my best, and worst, attribute. Sure, sometimes I say things I shouldn't, sometimes I say things and they come out wrong and sometimes I just say too much period. Being bubbly and constantly excited is something I love about me. How many people can hold a conversation with anyone, and I mean anyone? How many people do you know that always have something to talk about? I never have to deal with awkward silence. Everyone has a different personality, some personalities go together and some don't get along at all, and that's OK, it is what makes us who we are. I don't apologize for talking so much, it is who I am. If you think I talk too much then you don't have to listen. That's probably the reason I have a blog, it allows me to say what I want. I never wanted to be most popular, best dressed or most likely to succeed. I wanted to be most talkative. I know that people realize I have a personality, that I am bubbly and friendly all the time. I think being named most talkative is the best compliment I have ever received.

Think before you buy

So we all know I have a strange affinity for advice books, particularly love advice book. I have probably read every dating advice book known to man. As I was listen to Cosmo radio the other day, which I do every day, (If you have satellite radio, listen, its addicting.) They were talking to a girl who is a dating coach and just wrote the book, "You Lost Him at Hello: A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal with Any Guy You Want." Obviously I was intrigued. This woman sounded so smart, and everything she saying I was eating it all up. I wanted to take notes but I was driving and that is definitely not a good combo. So needless to say I could not wait to get home and log on and buy this book! I just knew it would be exactly what I needed to get a man. As I was logging on to Amazon, my book collection caught my eye. I noticed that I had a lot of books, and they were all strangely related. I saw, "He's Just Not that Into You," "Face it, You're Not that into Him Either," "Don't Get Lucky, Get Smart," "How to Find the Man of Your Dreams," "Finding Mr. Right," and "Why Men Love Bitches." I have entirely too many dating books and here I am about to buy another one! I have read all of the previously named books cover to cover, some of them even multiple times. Why waste money on a new one when all of these books have obviously not worked. Check my Facebook status, it still says "single." What would be so different about this book that it would actually work for me? I really started to wonder if I could get my money back from my collection of dating books. Don't the authors promise you'll fall in love? There should definitely be a money back guarantee on dating books. Well, I then realized that the common factor in this situation is me. Different book, same reader. Needless to say I x'ed out of Amazon before I got sick to my stomach realizing that I was about to purchase yet another dating book. I really am OK with my single status, so why do I continue to buy these books? It is because the authors do such an amazing job promising love to whoever readers their book. They come on Cosmo radio and talk about their successful love lives and single gals like me become green with envy. I listen to them talk and they sound smart and witty. They tell the amazing store of how they met their soulmate and I can't help but want that. So of course I am going to go buy their book. Logic says if I buy book then I fall in love. Obviously not. Someone needs to write a book on how fabulous single life is. These books make falling in love a game that sounds way to easy, I am living proof that it is not. So please stop writing books on how you made your love life successful and make me feel even more lame for being single. If you talk about it, I will buy your book. I will read your book cover to cover, get my hopes up, and then the book will be added the the collection on my desk and I will be waiting for the next dating book to come around. What a slippery slope of doom.

Only YOU can prevent sadness

So we all know that girls hold the crown for being emotional basket cases. Lets face it, guys don't drown their sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream when things go wrong. Well, being the only girl in the middle of two boys has been quite an adventure. I am able to see first hand how truly stupid the male species can be. I also have an advantage, I get to observe these creatures in their natural habitat, I am able to see things that all girls should see, but most never will. I could honestly write an entire book on all things I have learned by having brothers. One thing that happens on a regular basis is, frustration. My brothers, mostly my older one, has the ability to frustrate me to no end. He knows just the right buttons to push to make my blood boil. Well, recently we had one of the biggest arguments of all time, and for being 20 years old, that's big. I was so mad, angry, upset, frustrated, irritated, etc, that I could no long focus on anything except my anger. The next day, I did what all females do, went to friends to vent. I just wanted someone to hear just how mad I was and be mad with me. Leave it to my twin to be my voice of reason. She made me realize that, bro and i were not going to agree on this, ever. He was going to continue to think he was right and so am I. (By the way, if you knew the situation, you would totally be on my side too!) I realized that the problem was that I was the only one who cared. He didn't care that I was angry, only I did. I realized that I was the only one fueling my burning fire. I finally realized that even though I didn't want to and I didn't think it was right, I had to let go. I had to pull myself out of the situation. I had to let him win and continue to believe he was right. Our fight would only continue because I was just punching at a brick wall, it would never move. Even though it stinks, I realized I could choose to no longer be angry. We control our emotions, we always want to put the blame on other people who have done us wrong but the truth is, at the end of the day, it is up to us to continue to allow ourselves to have negative feelings. The best thing to do, for your sanity, is realize it is not worth fighting and release your emotions. Life is too short to be anything but happy and positive. So I choose to be happy and positive,

HI, I'm a Mac

So i got a snazzy new laptop, I caved into the world of Mac. Cute little white MacBook. I can't help but admit that I feel slightly closer to being Carrie Bradshaw now (she had a Mac.) I'm now thinking about rearranging my room so that my desk is at my window, just like her. I feel like it will help my writing improve?

It is no surprise to anyone that we are in a recession. If you weren't aware of this then you obviously live under a rock and probably don't have Internet and probably aren't reading this. I feel lucky to be in college during this economic crisis because being at school is like being in a bubble. You aren't in the real world so it isn't directly affecting you, and you aren't around your parents to listen to how bad things are, etc. One thing we all have in common right now is the recession. No matter how stable you are, it is affecting you somehow. Innocent people are losing their jobs, losing their money, losing everything. I heard someone say that we did this too ourselves. That our country has become so money hungry that we brought this on ourselves. It is a pet peeve of me when I hear people say that money is the right of all evil. Wrong. People are the root of all evil. Money isn't the problem, it's who has the money that is the problem. My entire life I have been called a spoiled brat, and this makes my skin crawl. Spoiled I may be but brat I most certainly am not. I have seen really dirty people who have lots of money. I have also seen really good people with lots of money. There is a huge difference. The key to money is work, hard work. Money just happens to be the reward for hard work, but the problem comes when people take their focus from the work and get caught up in the money. It seems like common sense that if you build up a business and start making money, but then start taking vacations every month and never working anymore, your business is going to fail and your money is going to disappear. Money doesn't last forever. My Papa worked harder than anyone I have ever known and earned great rewards from it. But none of that mattered to him. He never sold his simple country home for a mansion, he never bought a fancy sports car, and he never ran off with a 20 year old blonde. This is how I was raised. You work hard and even though you earn great rewards, you never stop working. My dad is the perfect example of a good person with money. He is probably reading this and going to e-mail me and tell me that he doesn't have money because he always says that. But that's just another example of how much he doesn't care about material things. My dad getting up at the crack of dawn to work all day long is all I have ever known. Crazy it may be, but I have also seen and benefited from the rewards from his hard work. He works hard and earns great rewards, but he never stops working. God gave him a daughter to enjoy the material things in life for him. What people see is the rewards, but no one sees the work it took to get those things. Sure, I drive a nice car, all most people see when they look at my car is spoiled brat. No one ever stops to ask me the story behind it. You see, every time I sit in my car, I see cows, I see Thrift's ferry, I see tractors, I see Ace Hardware, I see my dad's office, I hear my papa's stories of working with his bare hands, I see my brothers getting up at 5am, I see me in a red vest, I see me folding statements, I see the hard work that happened so that I could drive a nice car. I can't help but smile knowing that I am so fortunate to be able to see first hand the true meaning of hard work. So this is why I get so angry when people say money is the root of all evil. The evil comes from how people handle money. If you stop working, you will stop making money. If you let money consume you, it will become evil. But if you understand the work that monetary benefits require, then you can be smart enough to not let money consume you. Money is not the root of all evil, people with money are the root of all evil.

Settling down..

One of the very few perks of being single is hearing my friends tell stories of their current boy situation and what stupid things he is doing to them. When I hear my friends being treated not so well, I am reminded that being single is OK. I would much rather be single that have a guy who wasn't right. So I was having a chat with one of my gal pals who wanted advice. Isn't it strange that all my friends come to me for guy advice but yet I'm single? Maybe that's why I'm single, because I know guys too well? She was telling me about this new guy and how she was dropping hints left and right and all but screaming I LOVE YOU in his face. She asked me what I thought was the problem. I hear stories like this all the time. As females, we over analyze every little tiny detail of what guys do. She was wondering what I thought of his face book message, of his text, of the way he hugged her. This is the problem: Guys go home and watch TV and the last thing they do is wonder what you are thinking about them. Girls go home and tell their friends every tiny tiny detail of the night and try to decode it and vote on it with friends. See the difference? Another thing that makes my skin crawl is when girls make excuses for a guy. I will never in my life understand why we do this, and yes I'll admit I have done this before, too. If you start telling me something stupid a guy has done, do not let your sentence end with "but he..." NO! But nothing. Girls think that every guy who comes into their life is their last chance at not being single, so we make excuses and let things slide and we settle. Why? There are plenty of men in the world, plenty. If this guy is not prince charming, thanks but no thanks and move along. Why are girls so afraid of being single? If you are making excuses for a guy, dump him. No buts, dump him. Now. When my friends come to me for advice and they start telling me all the reasons why he isn't a good guy and then say something like, "But he's loaded." or "But he's hot." Do you hear yourself? Honestly, when did the world get so messed up that girls no longer think they deserve the absolute best? We all now that I am about as single as single comes, but you know what. I'm also not making excuses for some loser and I am also not spending my free time decoding every move a guy makes. Who has the better end of the deal? Sure, I may not have someone to buy my dinner every now and then, but if you ask me, I still have the better end of the bargain.

Past, Present and Future

I don't know about you, but I live for Monday's so that I can watch Gossip Girl. To say I am addicted would be an understatement. I am honestly convinced it is real life, I just wish it was my life. But, for those of you who watch, you know Serena. Oh Serena. So much money and such a crazy messed up world. I feel like in every episode Serena is trying to "find herself." She spends summers traveling Europe "looking for who she is." She doesn't go to college because she "doesn't know who she is yet." You get the point. While I don't think not going to college and traveling the world is the solution, I think we are all looking for who we are. That's what growing up is, becoming who you are destined to be. That's the stage of my life I am in right now, growing into who I am as a person. It's fun, but it's also scary and weird all at the same time. I search for answers everywhere and I am constantly waiting on the next best thing to happen in my life. In high school, I couldn't wait for college. Now that I am in college, I can't wait to graduate. I am always looking forward to the next step. But while my eyes are focused on the future, I am completely forgetting to live in the present. We shouldn't worry about what hasn't happened yet, the important thing is what is happening here and now. You have to live for the moment before its gone. If you spend all your time looking for yourself instead of just letting things happen, you will miss out on life.

How many times have you heard someone say, or have you said, "The past is the past." Well, yes. But, you need to remember that your past has made you who you are. Instead of looking to your future for who you are, look to your past. I realized this weekend that I was running from my past and only concerned with things that haven't ever happened yet. I got to catch up with my best friend from home this weekend. We hadn't seen each other in so, so long. While we were catching up, I started to wonder why we ever lost touch. And then I realized is that all my focus is on the future and leaving my past in the dust. But what good does that do? Why lose touch with a great friend just because our lives went in different directions? Someone who knows your past is the best person to carry with you into your future. Sure, you make new friends and go different places, but that doesn't mean that your old can't come to your new.

So I realized that if I wanted to know who I am, the answer is in the past and not in the future. Tomorrow isn't promised, future isn't promised. So live for the now, live for today but don't forget where you have been because that is what makes you who you are.