Farts and darts and really stinky parts, THAT'S what boys are made of.

So, by now you should all be aware that I have two (dos) brothers. If you are really smart you know it is the elder one I dislike. OK, so maybe I don't dislike him. Our problem is that we are too close in age, we tend to clash, a lot. It is safe to say I pretty much drive him insane, but what are little sister's for? One of the main things about me that drives him bonkers is my boy craziness. My "boy-crazy" ways are quite disgusting in his eyes, but what he doesn't realize that I am just a normal, that's right, normal girl. I just happen to be the only girl he sees planning her wedding, baby names and life with a boy she just met. Now, I have been single for quite sometime, I realize this, I do not, nor do I want, a reminder. My bro thinks I don't realize that I am quite a handful, and by quite I mean a large handful. He constantly reminds me that my flamboyant personality might scare boys away. So, I have decided to come up with my own sort of, warning label, if you will.

To all boys:

WARNING

If I have a crush on you, I will not act smoothly. I don't know how to act around you so I will become extremely nervous and start rambling about who knows what. I won't do anything cute, in fact, I will probably do something really stupid in a failed attempt at being cute. I wish I had 'game' but I don't. Save me from my embarrassment and ask for my number, even if you don't want to. I talk a lot, more than most people, in fact, more than most people who claim to talk a lot. In addition to talking in large amounts, I talk rather fast. I do not realize that I am doing this most of the time, so my feelings will not be hurt if you inform me that I am doing this. The word loud can pretty much be used to sum up my personality. Everything I do I do to the full extent and in the most ostentatious form. I get excited over absolutely anything and everything. It takes very little to amuse me and I find joy in things most people do not. I tend to cause scenes by getting too excited and I have been known to jump for joy, literally, in public on many occasions. I love animals, all animals, I don't discriminate. Since I love animals so much, do not be alarmed when I bolt towards any living creature within 100 feet of me and start talking to it like it is a small child. I believe animals need love, lots of it. I believe they like baby talk and can understand everything I am saying. Even though I love them and will beg you on a daily basis to buy me one, don't; I am not that responsible and make a terrible pet owner. I can't take care of another living creature and will have to give away the poor thing within months. Buy me a stuffed one. I love to shop. It is a sport to me and I take it seriously. Do not tell me I shop too much, don't tell me I spend too much money, I will not listen and I will not stop. This is a moot point. I like sports, you can watch football on TV, but be prepared because I will ask 500 questions because I know nothing about what is happening, but I want to learn. Do not ignore me, I will ask again. Do not get annoyed with me, I will cause a scene. I love to bake, a lot. I know you won't complain about me bringing you food, but keep your opinions to yourself. If you don't like it, shut it, or else I will never bake you anything again. I get my feelings hurt extremely easy, but I have a rebound rate of about 5 seconds. I will pout just for attention, so the quicker you give in, the quicker we can move on. I like to argue, I don't know why, but I do. So when I pick a fight, which I will do often, humor me, but don't you dare be mean, I will cry. I'm complicated, I know this, you don't need to remind me. I am a mess most of the time, but I can promise that there will never be a dull moment with me. I am full of love and want nothing more than to make you happy. Even though I am crazy, I will try to do sweet things. Most of the time I will fail, but it is the thought that counts. I crave attention, I thrive on it. If you don't give it to me, I will demand it and it won't be pretty. Even though I need attention, I do not need constant attention. Have boys night, let me have girls night, keep your friends and I'll keep mine. I make mistakes, I do stupid things, I say all the wrong things. I am not the prettiest, skinniest, tallest, whatever-est girl in the world, but I promise, if you can manage to handle me, you will love me.